These roasts are intended to be light-hearted, so send us your best jokes if you’re feeling inspired. | Photo via Canva
If the best jokes in life have a bit of truth to them, these Richmond roasts might be spicy.
But don’t blame us — blame ChatGPT, the online AI tool that uses natural language processors to generate text-based responses. We’ve noticed other cities used the software to roast their hometowns, and decided to have the River City hop aboard.
Editor’s note: ChatGPT responses have been edited for brevity.
Can you roast Richmond?
“Ah, Richmond. The city where everyone tells you it’s ‘really growing’ but it still feels like it’s a decade away from figuring out what it wants to be. It’s like the kid in class who says they’re ‘working on a project’ but just ends up doodling for hours.”
What are Richmond drivers like?
“If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to sit in a car and think, ‘Is this the rest of my life?’ — welcome to the Richmond rush hour.
Record Night | 6-9 p.m. | Reservoir Distillery | Free | Bring your favorite vinyl and play it on the distillery’s record player for a $2 discount on a drink.
Thursday, Jan. 30
“The Father” | Thursday, Jan. 30-Sunday, Feb. 16 | Times vary | Virginia Repertory Theatre | $25+ | Watch this on-stage show about André, an 80-year-old former tap dancer who is attempting to make sense of a confusing world.
Friday, Jan. 31
Natalie Jane | 7-11:30 p.m. | The Broadberry | $25+ | This rising pop star has 2+ million followers on Instagram and originally debuted on American Idol.
Saturday, Feb. 1
Manual Cinema’s “Frankenstein” | 7:30 p.m. | Modlin Center for the Arts | $40+ | This unique retelling of “Frankenstein” uses puppetry and other cinematic techniques to create a thrilling experience.
More traffic cameras will be installed along South Belvidere Street after Richmond City Council passed an ordinance to crack down on speeders. So far, the city has targeted 26 “high-risk intersections,” with more than a dozen around school zones. (ABC 8)
Concert
Dave Matthews Band will perform two concerts on back-to-back nights at the Allianz Amphitheater at Riverfront. The concerts are on July 15 + July 16, and tickets for both go on sale Friday, Feb. 21 at 10 a.m. (CBS 6)
Opening
A new vegan taqueria is planning to open and grow roots at 1004 Oakwood Ave. within the next two months. Taco Vegana was started by a married couple who are now transitioning out of the corporate world and into the culinary scene with their first-ever restaurant. (Richmond BizSense)
Sports
The University of Virginia’s 2025-2026 college football schedule is here. There are plenty of noteworthy games this season, but one of the biggest matchups will be on the road on Oct. 25 against the North Carolina Tar Heels, now led by Bill Belichick. (Richmond Times-Dispatch)
Closing
Verseau Bistro at Stony Point Fashion Park will close on Saturday, Feb. 15. The owner behind Verseau operates Say Cheesecake, which also plans to close on that date. (Richmond Times-Dispatch)
Shop
Carytown is home to a new Warby Parker. The national glasses retailer opened a storefront at 3128 W. Cary St. Ste. 3128 in the Cary Court Shopping Center. It opens each day at 10 a.m. (ABC 8)
Job
Don’t let your job posting get lost on over-saturated job sites. Get premium visibility when you post on our local job board. Your first listing is free.
The Buy
The Buy
A tabletop fire pit that’s less than $30. It burns smoke-free and fosters a warm + relaxing environment.
I didn’t escape the roast unscathed. Here’s what ChatGPT had to say about me.
“A writer with a cat and a coffee addiction? You’re like the poster child for ‘trying too hard to be indie’ but still stuck in a loop of overpriced coffee shops and cat hair in your manuscript. Do you also wear flannel shirts ironically and have a bookshelf that’s mostly unread books?”
For what it’s worth, I got rid of most of my flannels last year.
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